D's Highschool Torment
by Magic of WakaLaka
Summary: D is trapped in a boarding school with the rest of the Bloodlust characters. Ms. Carmilla, the evil english teacher, is bent on making D's life miserable. Can he survive? Language and OOCs.
1. Flip, Flop, Flip, Flop

**Disclaimer: **Seriously people, Vampire Hunter D & Co doesn't belong to me. If they did, the whole anime would've turn out something like BoBoBo-Bo-BoBoBo.

This Fanfiction is my first ever and **purely comedy**. D will be acting **very OCC.** Don't like, don't read.

* * *

_It happened_, he thought, _The worst of the worst things that could ever, ever, EVER befall me._

He couldn't find his hat.

"Aw man," D cried loudly. "I need my freaking hat."

Kyle burst through the door, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, D! What's shakin', bacon?" Kyle asked, slapping D on his bare shoulder.

"EEEP! NO TOUCHIE!" D jumped and, while balancing on one foot, waved his hands in the air. "DO NOT TOUCH ME."

"Why?" Kyle asked.

"Because I said so."

"Why?'

"Because I don't like you."

"Why?"

"Because you're annoying."

"Why?"

"SHOULDN'T YOU ASK YOURSELF THAT QUESTION!?!" D hollered.

"But, I'm asking you!"

"What are you doing in my room anyway?"

Kyle stopped and pondered this.

"Ooooo, yeah! Class is about to start! See you around!" And with that, Kyle ran out of the room.

D stood fuming for a few seconds, class is about to start in a few minutes and he STILL couldn't find his hat!

**…………………**

D ran to his first period class worrying that he was about to be late. He couldn't find his normal wide-brim hat so he had to use a black beanie with the same symbol that is on his regular hat. He was wearing the normal uniform school attire of J. Waka Laka High School, which is a dark blue vest over neat white collared shirt with dark blue slacks. He skidded to a halt in one corner of the outdoor campus' poles, grateful that it was a cloudy day. He was about to continuing running when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"…D" Left Hand murmured.

D groaned, everything the Left Hand said was either sarcastic or useless.

"D, your shoes are different colors."

"Argh, no!" D cried as he looked down at his feet. One of his shoes were a normal black loafer but the other was bright neon pink flip flops.

"LEFTY, why didn't you tell me about this BEFORE we left my room?" D snarled at his left hand.

Left hand chuckled. "I wanted to see how long it would take you until you realized it. Besides, pink is your color."

D was about to continue to yell when the final late bell rang.

_Oh god._ D thought. _This definitely isn't my day._

**…………………**

D walked into his first period class, English, which already started. He felt his face grow hot as all eyes turn to look at him. He walked up to the teacher's desk and explained to her why he was late.

"You were late to my class because OF YOUR HAT?" Ms. Carmilla bellowed.

"I'm sorry ma'am but I really couldn't find it an-"

"I WOULD BE MORE UNDERSTANDING IF YOU WERE LATE BECAUSE OF YOUR SHOES!"

D bit his lip as he heard the class snicker. The fluorescent lights really did make his flip flop stand out more.

"To your seat, D, I hope you brought your homework." Ms. Carmilla spat and turned back to her computer to finish taking attendance.

D wobbled to his seat, which next to a window in the back row, and sank down into it. He felt horrible, why did all these things always happened to him?

"Hey," he heard someone whisper to him. "Where's your sombrero?"

D looked up from his gloom to glare at Alan Elbourne, who was sneering at him.

"In my room," D responded curtly and turned his head away from Alan, who was quietly laughing with his friends.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Left hand quietly murmured.

"What is that supposed to mean?" D hissed at his hand.

"You just admitted that you have a sombrero."

D groaned and looked up at the ceiling.

"Well, Mr. I-am-late-to-class-over-my-hat, AM I BORING YOU?" Ms. Carmilla yelled.

D winced. "No, ma'am."

"Well, you could kindly tell what we are discussing then?"

"Um… er…" D stalled. Honestly, he had no idea what his teacher was talking about.

"Um, please ma'am, may I answering the question?" a timid voice said.

Ms. Carmilla sighed. "Very well, Ms. Elbourne. Why was Hester Prynne forced to wear the letter 'A' on her chest?"

"Oh," Charlotte smiled. "Because of the sin she committed was adultery."

"Very good, unlike D," Ms. Carmilla turned sharply on her three inch pumps to look at D, who sunk lower in his chair. "You are actually paying attention."

D glared at Ms. Carmilla, his English teacher from Hell. Her red hair was tied together in a neat bun and her lips were blazed scarlet. Her gold eyes look fiercely around the class, daring anyone to step out of line. She was wearing a two piece navy suit which complimented her pale skin. "We will be having a quiz next class on Chapters 1-4 of The Scarlet Letter, I expect everyone of you to read it, especially YOU D."

**…………………**

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Wait up, D!" Kyle cried, pushing through random people to make his way to the dhampir. "What is it, Kyle?" D muttered. He didn't understand that just because him and Kyle shared the same dorm room meant that they were friends. D had no friends, he didn't WANT any friends, he just wanted to make it out of high school alive.

"You've been looking down so I thought that you would want to eat lunch with me!" Kyle grinned and threw his right arm around D's shoulder oblivious to D's frowning face.

"No."

"Why not?" Kyle demanded, deflating his happy balloon slightly.

"I just want to be left alone." D sighed and stopped walking.

Kyle stopped walking and peered into D's face. Without his hat blocking out most of his features, everyone could see his few loose bangs at the top of head and his startling pale blue eyes, which was currently narrowed in anger.

"I'm not in a good mood."

"Ahhh," Kyle nodded knowingly, which caused D to look up.

"What?"

"Rough morning with Ms. C, eh?"

"Ms. Carmilla? Yeah, that bitch, she keeps on picking on me!"

"Hey, man, I know how you fee- DUDE, are you wearing a pink flip flop?"

Kyle's comforting stopped when he caught sight of D's shoes and burst out laughing, causing everyone to stop walking and stare at D.

"Thanks a lot!" D snarled angrily as he hitched up his backpack and disappeared into the crowd.

**…………………**

"You can't stay here forever, D," Left hand sighed irritably. He knows that both D and him was starving and that their Lunch period was almost over. D ignored him and continuing to sit on the floor in the only place which he found solace, during school hours.

He picked a random book off the shelf of the nearest bookcase, it was entitled 'Twilight'. He turned over to the back and skim through the summary.

"This is a load of garbage," He snorted. "Who could fall in love with a vampire?"

"It happened before… like in your case," Left hand said causing D to growl.

"Be quiet, god, you are just as annoying as Kyle."

"Haha, I'm honored you are comparing me to your most noble friend." Sarcasm dripped from Left Hand's voice.

"He's not my friend! How many times do I have to tell you that!" D put the book back roughly and got quickly to his feet. He walked quickly towards the end of the bookcase and…

_WHAM! _


	2. Duude, are you gay or something?

Heh. The disclaimer still stands.

I also agree with D's critic on the book Twilight, I think that D should quit hunting vampires and go apply for a job at The New York Times.

* * *

D fell back and landed right on his back, legs sticking straight up in the air. He heard a groan and someone else falling back onto the ground. D stood up hastily and went over to the person that he ran in to. "Good going D," Left Hand muttered and then gave a small cry of pain when D clenched his fist at the sight of the person he hit. 

Meier Link was still on the ground, his hands supporting him up and his legs splayed out on the ground. He looked up at D with blood red eyes, a small frown upon his lips, while D coughed. "He-, Hey," D said and offered his hand to Meier. Meier ignored him, raised himself to his feet, smoothed out his snow white hair, and bent down to pick up his stuff. D pulled on his collar and coughed again. "Hey, Meier," D said, looking down at his feet. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking at where I was going." But when D looked up Meier was gone.

"Man, what a jerk. Just because he has a better fashion sense then you don't mean he can just ignore you." Left Hand commented and D scowled.

"What is that supposed to mean? You don't think that I have good fashion sense?"

"Obviously you don't. When you aren't wearing the uniform you are wearing all black. Can you spell E-M-O?"

"I'm not an EMO! I just like the color black!"

"Emo, Emo, Emo, Emo," Left Hand chanted mockingly.

"SHUT UP." D shouted and then felt a firm hand come down on his right shoulder.

"This is the library, sir, please lower your voice." Nolt Markus said and looked around, wondering who D was talking to.

D gulped and turned around and huge and muscular librarian, who was eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm very sorry, sir." D said nervously and hurried out past him.

D was inches out of the door when Nolt's voice rang out. "Good sir, you have forgotten something." Nolt approached him with a plain dark purple notebook and handed it to him with a stern frown. "We do not permit students to leave their possessions in the library. This is a place to gain knowledge not your personal storage room."

"Right, right, sorry." D nodded nervously and grabbed the notebook. He then proceeded to go to his next class as the late bell rang out again.

**…………………**

Good thing the next class was Study Hall, the teacher barely looked up when D arrived 5 minutes late. D sat down in his usual seat, which was all the way in the back next to a window. "I wonder why I always get this seat," D muttered to himself. Kyle looked over at D and grinned. "Maybe they want to see if that 'Sun Syndrome' of yours is true or not." D glared at Kyle, reached into his black backpack, pulled out 'The Scarlet Letter', and opened it to a random page. "I guess you are still mad at me for laughing about your flip flop, eh?" Kyle asked and when D didn't respond he smiled. "Don't worry dude, pink is your color."

"PINK IS NOT MY COLOR." D said loudly.

"Chill, man. You always get so riled up with it comes to your favorite color."

"I do not get 'riled up'. I hate it when people say pink is my color, IT ISN'T."

"I guess you want black to be your color, right?"

"Actually, it is my color."

"Actually, no it isn't. Pink is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it isn't."

"HEY, YOU TWO IN THE BACK," the teacher yelled, causing the class to stop chattering and turn to look at Kyle and D, "If you two have some relationship problems, take care of it after class. No one wants to hear you two bickering."

The whole class laughed and while Kyle laughed with them, D sulked.

_How am I going to concentrate now?_ He thought, staring at cover of his book.

"Um, D…" Left Hand interrupted D's thoughts. "What now?" D asked angrily.

"Um, I don't think remember you bringing that notebook with you into the library. Actually, I'm pretty positive that it isn't even yours." Left Hand said.

D stopped. He had forgotten completely about that notebook. He reached down into his backpack and pulled it out. D looked at Kyle, who was talking animatedly to Mashira and Benge about his Double A score in Dance Dance Revolution. Satisfied that Kyle won't bother him, D opened the notebook and flicked through it.

"This is Meier's handwriting all right… Ultra Advance Calculus, God-Mode Physics… what a smart ass." Left Hand said. D had to agree with him, how was Meier Link so smart? Well, maybe because he was a vampire and had all eternity to do something probably was the reason. Of course, D spends most of his time playing Neopets. "Woah, woah, WOAH! D, turn back a couple of pages…" Left Hand said and when D did that, he gasped.

"Wow," Left Hand said. "This is pretty interesting, don't ya think?"

Class was almost over and Kyle was getting his stuff together. He planned to skip next class and go to a nearby convenience store with Borgoff, Mashira, and Benge to get some good ol' slushies. He was about to sling his orange and blue checkered backpack over his shoulder when he caught sight of D.

D's stuff was still spread out over his desk and his dark purple notebook was still open. D was gaping at it and from time to time, his right eye would twitch. Kyle blinked and nudged Mashira, was already out of his desk and running in place.

"Yo Mashira," Kyle said. "What's wrong with D?"

"I have no clue," Mashira said and turned to stare at D. "Dude, he looks like he seen a ghost or something."

"Who cares about D, are we still going to get some slushies or what?" Benge hopped over his desk to stand between Kyle and Mashira, his voice was laced with irritation. Kyle rolled his eyes. "I've never seen someone has impatient as you. Of course we are going to get some slushies! I told Borgoff to meet us by the Boy's locker room." Benge nodded and turned to look at D and smirked. The bell rang and they were about to leave when they heard D's voice.

"Kyle," D said hoarsely, "Ca- can I ask you a question?"

"Sure thing buddy!" Kyle grinned and motioned for Mashira and Benge to go on without him. "Something is bothering you isn't it."

D nodded and then he gulped. "Is… is Meier Link… please don't laugh… is Meier Link… gay?"

Kyle stared at D and then he started to smile. "Meier? Are you serious, D?" Kyle started to laugh and D looked up at him glaring.

"Are you two talking about Meier being gay?" Mashira jogged over and looked at Kyle and D. "Why would you ask, D, are you gay?"

"D IS GAY?" Benge exclaimed as he appeared out of nowhere next to Kyle. Benge gaped at D while D's face was turning a brilliant shade of red. "I AM NOT GAY. I'M JUST ASKING A QUESTION."

"You are asking if someone is gay so that must mean you are gay."

"What, Benge, that doesn't make any sense. How can you be gay if you are asking someone who is not gay if someone else is gay?"

"Because if you are asking if someone is gay and someone and you aren't gay but the person you are talking about is gay then that means that you are gay."

"None of you guys are making any sense. I'm going, bye." Mashira shook his head and jogged out of the classroom. Benge eyed D warily and followed Mashira out. D grinded his teeth while Kyle continued to laugh. "I –hic- have no probably with you being gay, D," Kyle chuckled. "Whatever floats your boat." D looked up at Kyle. "Kyle, c'mere." He whispered. Kyle stopped chuckling, was D trying to put the moves on him? He had to be the most straightest guy in the school and he wasn't about to forfeit that title. Nevertheless, he bent down low to D; so close that he could see D's eyelashes.

"What?"

D took a deep breathe.

"YOU FREAKING IDIOT. I AM NOT FREAKING GAY." D screamed in Kyle's ear. D grabbed his stuff and stalked out of the classroom leaving Kyle leaning against the wall with his ears ringing.

**…………………**

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Left Hand asked D.

"Absolutely nothing." D answered. He was on his bed in his dorm room, working on the huge load of homework that Ms. Carmilla gave him.

"Are you sure?" Left Hand sneered.

"Positive."

"Okay, watch. You are going to change your mind by tomorrow."

"I am not."

"Right… you know… it's bad to pry into other people's business."

"I am not going to."

"Right, so… how are you going to react when he asks her out?"

"He won't be because I'm going to stop him right then and there."

"I thought you said that you weren't going to pry."

"I'm not! I'm doing… I'm doing this for... Charlotte's sake."


	3. The TOILET of DOOM

Oh, wow. Family issues have taken my time of the dear internet.

I highly doubt my parents would pay D 20 million dollars to rescue me from a vampire... actually I wouldn't want them to if that vampire is Meier Link.

Disclaimer still stands from Chapter 1.

* * *

A few days later, something absolutely stupendously amazing happened. 

D actually attended Lunch.

For once, mainly because he knew that Meier was lurking in the library for him. D wasn't stupid, he knew why Meier wanted him but he also knows that he deathly afraid of the albino vampire. _Is Meier albino, anyway? How can a vampire be albino… was he born albino or changed by an albino vampire or was he born an albino vampire? _D wondered to himself as he sat between Leila and Kyle. Kyle frowned at him, he was trying to "work his magic" on Leila, who wasn't paying any attention until D sat down.

"Hi, D," Leila smiled. "Hey, Leila," D grinned back. Leila was D's only friend that was a girl probably because she acts so much like a boy. Kyle huffed and got up to go into the line with Benge.

"So, why aren't you hiding the library today?" Leila asked.

D coughed. He really needs to stop doing that. "Um, I decided to eat with you guys…"

Leila nodded. "That's good. No offense but you look kind of pale… anything bothering you?"

D snorted. "How can I get paler then I am already am?"

Leila shrugged. "You just don't look so good." She stopped the conversation to open up her lunch bag and then she shrieked.

"What? What is it?" D cried; he practically jumped 10 feet in the air.

"MY SANDWICH, SOMEONE TOOK MY SANDWICH!" Leila yelled and turned around to glare at a certain baraboi. Caroline was eating something, by the window, which looked suspiciously like Leila's expertly-made sandwich. Noticing that everyone was turning to stare at her, Caroline lazily opened one eye to look at Leila. "CAROLINE, THAT'S MY SANDWICH." Leila yelled as she stomped over from her table to Caroline, who was still chewing. D watched the scene from a safe distance, slightly smiling at Leila's and Caroline's facial expressions. Leila's face was contorted with rage and Caroline's face was her normal sleepy facial expression. The whole lunch room was silent for awhile until Caroline stopped chewing and opened her mouth to speak. "I didn't see your name on it, Leila." She drawled. Leila sighed loudly and turned around. She then turned around and jumped on Caroline, hitting her across her face, and yelling: "IF I CAN'T HAVE THAT SANDWICH THEN NO ONE CAN!"

"Meeoooowww, cat fight!" Benge exclaimed while Kyle and Mashira rolled their eyes. They just got out of line and their trays were filled with food. When they sat down, D grabbed random things off each of their trays and without further ado, began to eat. "Hey, you could've just went into the line with us?" Mashira scowled but D shook his head. "…can't spend money…" he gasped between mouthfuls. Benge raised an eyebrow. "D, you are practically rich, what are you saving for?" D shook his head again and took a long sip out of Kyle's Sprite bottle. "Hey, that's mine!" Kyle whined as he reached out to take his soda back from D. D looked up at Kyle and then passed him. His eyes got wide and he spitted out the soda all over Kyle, Mashira, and Benge. "MAN, What the hell do you think you are doing?" Benge cried angrily while he tried to wipe himself off. "Hey, D, where are you going?" Mashira called after D, who was running out of the lunch room. Kyle gulped down the rest of his soda and sighed. "Next time I get something to drink; I'm not going to put it in D's reach." Benge grumbled something incoherent as he returned to his pizza slice. Mashira and Kyle went back into digging into their food when a voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Hello, have you seen D?" Meier Link asked, standing in front of them, his eyes questioning. Benge, Kyle, and Mashira stared at him for a few moments until he blinked and backed away. "I guess not," he muttered as he disappeared in the crowd. Mashira continued to eat while Kyle leaned over to whisper to Benge.

"I wonder what was that about?"

"Maybe Meier knows that D has a crush on him."

"Hey, man, D is not gay. He made that clear to me a few days ago."

"Oooo, how?"

Kyle rubbed his ears. "I'm trying to forget it."

**…………………**

_This is pathetic; I'm a vampire hunter for Pete's sake. I should be able to beat him to a pulp._ D interrogated himself as he hid in one of the boy's bathroom stall. For some reason, D was afraid of Meier."It's his eyes; they're too creepy!" D whimpered softly as he sat down on the toilet. As soon as he saw Meier behind Kyle and looking around for HIM, he knew he had to get out of there.

_I'm such a wimp._ D sighed to himself as he sat down on one of the toilets. All of the sudden, the boy's bathroom door swung open and D jumped. He heard footsteps coming into the room and then stopping in front of one of the sinks. D peered between the crack that was made by the hinged door and the bathroom stall and he gasped. Meier was there, washing his hands, and then he was combing his hair. D covered his mouth with his hands while he was thinking how Meier could comb his hair when he doesn't have any reflection.

Suddenly, D remembered how in those horror flicks or in those crazy mass murderers' movies that the victims jump on the toilets so the bad guy couldn't see their feet. D slowly stepped up on the toilet seat and stood up; unfortunately, he is so tall that his hat was practically scrapping the ceiling. Meier didn't seem to notice the commotion behind him. He turned towards to door before he stopped. "Ah, I shouldn't have drunk all that blood before lunch." He murmured and turned towards a bathroom stall.

D stared in horror as Meier went to the bathroom stall that he was hiding in!

_Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! This is the last time that I take advice from horror movies. _D furiously thought to himself as Meier stopped in front of his bathroom stall, muttering to himself. D's mind was racing. He had no idea what he was going to do! He couldn't jump over the top of the stalls and he can't slide under them. Meier was starting to push the door open when something unthinkable happened.

D slipped.

D slipped off the toilet seat and his feet landed right into the toilet bowl. To make matters worse, Meier had opened the door and he was looking at D with no emotion on his face. D decided that explaining himself would be useless; his pants were soaking wet and his face was a bright color red which contrasting with his wide blue eyes.

A few minutes went by with no sounds or movements until Meier looked down, closed the bathroom door, and walked out of the bathroom. D sighed and pulled himself out of the toilet. He was at the door of the bathroom when he, just then, he heard hard footsteps. That sound sounded familiar… VERY familiar… It sounded like a set of ruby red pumps…

"Oh shi-!" D cried when the boy's bathroom door swung open and looking down at him was Ms. Carmilla.

"Well, well, WELL." Ms. Carmilla snarled, glaring at D. "Skipping class are we?"

"No-no, ma'am, please," D begged. "I just went to go to the bathroom."

"CLASS STARTED 10 MINUTES AGO!" Carmilla yelled while D cowered. "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM DURING LUNCH?

"Ma'am, I was eating at lunch." D said.

"According to my sources, you left the lunch room and headed to the bathroom and stayed there for more the 20 minutes!"

"Wha-? How do you know that?!"

Carmilla smirked. "As being the Assistant Principal to the J. Waka Laka High School, I know everything about the delinquents. Now, come with me to the principal office!" With that she grabbed D's upper arm and dragged him out of the bathroom and down the hall. In five minutes they were inside the principal's office; Ms. Carmilla walked over and whispered something into Principal Elbourne's ear. "Hmmmm," he murmured, nodding his head slowly. "Mr. D, May I ask what you were doing?"

"I was going to the bathroom! That is all I was doing! Is that bad?" D cried out in frustration.

"My boy, you do not have to be disrespectful," he peered at D over his glasses' frame. "Why are your pants wet?"

"Um… er… I fell."

"Be specific, where did you fall?"

"I… fell… into a sink puddle."

"Excuse me?"

"A puddle… made by a leaky sink… I think that you need to fix it… before someone else slips."

"My boy, J. Waka Laka high school is known in the universe for its orderly excretion facilities. I think that what you are saying is false."

"AH HA!" Ms. Carmilla cried, pointing a nicely manicured finger at D's horror-stricken face. "There is ONE way that we HANDLE LIARS!"

"No, please, no," D said, his voice becoming more and more desperate.

Principal Elbourne looked sadly at D. "I'm sorry, Mr. D; we are going to have to call your father."


	4. Mister Berry Bear

Ha. I'm actually working on a serious story and D will play a minor part in it.

Maybe I can give him some of his dignity back...

NOT.

Disclaimer is in Chapter 1, go back and read it if you really want to.

* * *

"Ha-ha, excellent, Principal," Ms. Carmilla sneered. "I know that THIS always put those unruly delinquents in there place!" 

"Si- sir, can you please think this over?" D begged; a phone call to his father would mess up everything. Dracula wasn't so sure about letting D stay over all alone at a boarding school, even though it's the best one in the universe. He liked babying D and he thought that D wasn't mature enough to be on his own.

Just for the record, he wasn't.

Ms. Carmilla smirked at D and went to go get the student profiles, where Dracula's number would be in.

_That crazy old witch, I hope she gets impaled by thousands of carrots._ D thought bitterly to himself as he watched her strut out of the room.

Principal Elbourne turned to D. "My boy, I notice that you have classes with both of my children…"

"Huh? What?"  
"My two children, boy, Alan and Charlotte, do you know them?"

D considered for a moment to ignore him, what was the point of talking to him respectfully if he is going to get in trouble?

"Um, yeah; they're both in my English class… and my Math class." D said.

"I would like to ask you if you notice anything strange going on with… Charlotte."

"No sir. She's acting normal." Actually, D hadn't seen her since she saved him from Ms. Carmilla but the principal didn't have to know that.

Principal Elbourne nodded his head, studying D. "She just has been… leaving her room at night…and she won't talk about it to me…"

Ms. Carmilla dramatic entrance stopped Principal Elbourne's train of thought. She flung the door open, hips cocked, and strutted over to him, slamming D's profile in front of him. "May I stay while you give the _phone call_?"

D didn't like the way she said 'phone call'. _My life is over._ D thought gloomily.

The minutes crawled on by while Principal Elbourne dialed the number, put the receiver on speaker, and waited for a response. D's heart skipped a beat when he heard his dad's voice.

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is Principal Elbourne of J. Waka Laka High School and Boarding School. We have called you in hopes of straightening out your son, D."

"… AH HA! I knew this day was going to happened; D broke down and said he missed me didn't he? Tell him that it's alright, Daddy loves him. Oh yeah, he forgot Mr. Berry Bear his teddy bear. Mr. Berry Bear misses the rhyme that D made up to sing to him at night. Do you want to hear how it goes?"

If D wasn't a dhampir, he would've died of embarrassment right there on the spot.

Principal Elbourne blinked a couple of time while Ms. Carmilla did an excellent job of covering up her laughter.

"Um, sir, maybe another time we could hear the jingle. We have called you in hopes of straightening out your son. He has been caught lying to a teacher."

"LYING? Deedee would never EVER do such a thing. He's an adorable perfect little boy."

"Sir, Mr. …?"

"Mr. Dracula is fine."

"DRACULA?!?!" Ms.Carmilla yelled in astonishment as she stared at the phone.

"… That voice sure does sound familiar…"

"IT BETTER SOUND FAMILIAR!" Ms. Carmilla screamed, pushing Principal Elbourne out of the way of the speaker phone so she could have better aim.

"Oh, hum. I can't place that voice with a face… or you Sookie Stackhouse?"

"WHAT? WHO THE HELL IS THAT? I'M CARMILLA, YOU BASTARD."

"… OH NO. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"WHAT DO YOU THING? AFTER YOU LEFT ME IMPALED IN MY BED, I TOOK THE ONLY JOB I COULD FIND. YOU RUIN MY CAREER AS A MODEL."

"I WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU, BITCH, WHAT THE POINT OF IMPALING SOMEONE IF IT'S NOT TO KILL THEM."

"ASSHOLE, I FIGURED THAT OUT A LONG TIME AGO; I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU DID THAT TO ME. I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS."

D heard his father snort. "FRIENDS? YOU NEVER HAD ANY FRIENDS!"

"OH REALLY? HOW ABOUT THAT TIME I SAVED YOUR SORRY ASS FROM VAN HELLSING?"

"WHAT? THAT WAS A LUCKY SHOT FROM HIM. I COULD'VE TAKEN YOU BOTH ON MYSELF."

Principal Elbourne wheeled himself over to D and whispered quietly. "You may go, D. I hope this has been a lesson to you." With that, D gladly walked out of the room, Dracula's and Carmilla's argument echoing around the hall.

**…………………**

The next day when D arrived at English, late as usual, he noticed that Ms. Carmilla wasn't there, instead was a sickly-looking man in a wheel chair, carefully writing the assignment on the board. He turned to D and smiled. "Well, hello, you must be D. I'm Mr. Grove Markus and I will be your substitute teacher for today. Please take your seat." D nodded at him and sat down, taking out his homework.

"Well, yesterday's whole fiasco goes without comment." Left Hand muttered. D was actually relieved that Left Hand was speaking; frankly he thought Left Hand died of embarrassment too. "Yes, let's now talk about it." D agreed.

Mr. Markus turned his wheel chair around to face the class. "Well, your teacher has left an assignment for us to do. It requires partners… assigned partners." As Mr. Markus read off the list, D noticed that he was partnered with Charlotte. He looked up and saw her looking start forward, apparently zoning out.

"Oh ho ho ho, now's your chance, D, let's find out what Charlotte is doing."

"That's not my job."

"Didn't you say a few days ago that you wanted to 'protect her from Meier'?"

D didn't response and Left Hand sighed. "You're such a pansy, D."

D scowled. "I am not a pansy!"

"Um, who are you talking to?" Charlotte asked timidly, looking at D, was apparently yelling at his left hand. D coughed and quickly put his hand at his side.

"Errrr, no one."

"… right," Charlotte said and sat down across from D, she took out her notebook and started to flick threw it. Over her shoulder, D noticed that Alan was glaring at his sister's back. When he noticed that D was looking at him, he smirked and took his finger and slid it across his neck. Alan started to chuckled as he watch D's eyes get bigger when he saw the gesture. Mashira, who was paired with Alan, was annoyed at the human's antics. "Hey," Mashira pulled on Alan's shirt with his face full of annoyance. "We are partnered together for a reason." Alan turned around and glared at the werewolf. "I know," he huffed.

"If you know so much, you would've taken your stuff for this class out already."

Alan grumbled as he dug in his backpack for his notebook while Mashira leaned back with a satisfied smile.


	5. He a said a BAD WORD

D: Hello, I am the real Vampire Hunter D. I do not belong to Alexis a.k.a. Magic of WakaLaka. No other characters in this story belongs to her. More importantly, I do not act like this. Please do not think I act like this. I will not laugh, cry, scream, yell, etc. I am cold, emotionless, and alo-

Highschool D: OMG, HI! YOU LOOK SO COOL! Am I really you? Do I really look this cool when I get older?

D: ...

* * *

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The second hand barely moved a millimeter on the clock while D stared at it. Once Mr. Markus told them it was time to start working, D's brain took a trip to the "City of Distant Stars". Charlotte worked quietly and patiently on a project that was meant for two people to work on. She glanced uneasily at D, whose eyes and mouth was half open, as he stared at the clock.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Another millimeter.

"D?" she asked quietly, afraid that she might startle him from what he was doing. "…D? We-we have a project to do together?"

"HUH? Who are we talking about again?" D returned to Earth, momentarily.

Charlotte sighed. "We're working on the project, for The Scarlet Letter, remember?"

D stared blankly at Charlotte for a few moments before something in his brain finally clicked. "Oh! Oh! Right, sorry." D dug in his backpack for his notebook, which he had scribbled down some notes. Left Hand snorted. "D, Congratulations."

"Huh?"

"You heard me, Congratulations."

"What did I do?"

"I want to congratulate you for being the dumbest noob on this planet."

"Shut the hell up!" D scowled at Left Hand, right in front of Charlotte. Charlotte stared at D and then she bit her lip. "Why are you being so mean to me? I didn't do anything!" She started to sniffled and whimpered.

"Oh god, Charlotte, I wasn't talking to you."

"Then who were you talking to?"

"Um… er… my hand."

"Your hand?"

"Yeah."

"HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME LIKE THAT, I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE!!" Charlotte burst out crying. The whole class attention was immediately drawn to the pair. Alan Elbourne glared and got up from his seat with Mashira looking up from his work quizzically. "YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR MAKING MY SISTER CRY!" With that, Alan jumped over his desk and tackled D while yelling out a battle cry. D, with his sharp reflexes and superb dodging techniques, was so busy trying to make Charlotte stop crying that he didn't see Alan coming for him. "WHA-AAAHHHH!" D screamed when Alan toppled over him, landing blow after blow on his face. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" D yelled while blocking his face with his arms as best as he could. Mr. Markus gaped at the scene in front of him, while the rest of the class gathered around Alan and D in a circle chanting, yelling, and placing bets on who was going to come out alive. "RIGHT HOOK, LEFT JAB! HELL YES! GET HIM ALAN!" Benge yelled from the group of students. Mashira didn't move from his seat, as he finished working on his project, there was no way that a human and a dhampir fighting for a futile reason was going to get him anything lower then a 'B' on this project.

"BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!" For once, Kyle was being authoritative and intelligent. "I SAID BREAK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I OPEN UP A CAN OF WHOPASS ON YOU GUYS."

Hmmm, maybe not.

Kyle pushed through the crowd so he can reach the center of the attention. "Get off of him, Alan! NOW." Kyle ordered while he grabbed Alan by the back of his collar and hauled off D. "Get off me, Kyle! He made my sister cry!" Alan huffed angrily at Kyle. "Alan, everything makes your sister cry," Kyle responded matter-of-factly. "YOU ASSHOLE!" Alan yelled and punched Kyle in his face. "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Kyle yelled as he returned a punch in Alan's face. "FREE-FOR-ALL!" Benge screamed and then jumped into the tousle. By this time, Mr. Grove Markus wheeled himself out of the classroom and into the one next door to ask for assistance. D was just getting socked in the stomach by Kyle when a deep voice rang out through the class room. "MY WORD, ARE WE HAVING A FIGHT?" Mr. Nolt stomped angrily into the classroom and gasped. "Gentlemen! What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Alan went first. "THAT BASTARD MADE MY SISTER CRY!" Nolt eyes widen as he turned to glare at D, who gulped. "Well, good sir, it is horrible manners to make a lady cry." Nolt walked over to Charlotte, bend down, and said gently to her: "Dear, what did D do to you?" Charlotte sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of hand before answering, causing Alan to send death threats through his eyes at D. "He told me to shut up, and he said a CURSE WORD." Benge gasped dramatically while Mashira and Kyle rolled their eyes. Nolt drew himself to his full height as he walked over to D and put his face centimeters from D's face. "Well, I _never_ have seen anything so disrespectful and hurtful in my ENTIRE LIFE. How dare you do that to a young and innocent young girl? I think it's time for you to go to the principal's office." "WHAT?" D cried. "I JUST BEEN THERE, I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE AGAIN." Nolt shook his head angrily and just ignored D.

With that, he walked over to Kyle and Benge. "You two were fighting for what reason?" Nolt asked. "That rich snobby bastard hit D in the first place! Plus, D was apologizing for what he said! I had to protect my friend," Kyle responded hotly which made D happy that he had at least _one _friend. Nolt didn't answered and asked Benge the same question. "Well, when I saw that the most beautiful girl in the class had soft and delicate tears streaming down her face, I knew that it would be a noble thing to protect her dignity, since I am but a humble peasant." Benge bowed deeply. "Weren't you the one in the back of the whole crowd yelling at D, telling him to throw Alan out of the window?" Mashira asked bitterly, with his arms crossed, causing Benge to glare at him. "Well, Mr. Elbourne and Mr. Benge, back to your work and this includes EVERYONE!" Nolt barked impatiently. Everyone in class went grumbling back to their seats. "AH! AH! AH!" Nolt said and grabbed Kyle and D by their upper arms. "You two are going to the principal's office." D groaned loudly while Kyle shrugged. "Good luck you guys," Mashira said, his voice filled with sympathy as he watched D and Kyle getting dragged out of the classroom.

"THIS ISN'T FAIR, YOU SHOULD MAKE ALAN GO TO THE OFFICE, HE STARTED EVERYTHING!" D yelled at Nolt angrily while trying to get his arm free. Nolt ignored him while Kyle smiled encouragingly. When they got to the principal's office, D gasped in fright. "D-DAD?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!" D screamed as he saw the scene in front of him. Principal Elbourne was seated in his desk while Dracula and Carmilla was seating in two chairs and facing each other. "Carmilla, I didn't mean anything by impaling you." Dracula said with his face full of grief while Carmilla sneezed into a hankie. "It's alright, I now know how you feel about me," She said while wiping her nose. Principal Elbourne smiled at the pair. "So, you two have settled your differences and now are friends." "Yes!" Dracula and Carmilla said at the same time, grinning at each other. "WHAT? DIDN'T YOU TWO HATE EACH OTHER, LIKE A DAY AGO?" D screamed again and at last, Dracula and Carmilla turned to look at him. "MY POOR BABY!" Dracula cried and got up from his seat and hugged D furiously. "What happened to you? You look like you got ran over by a tank." D was too angry to be embarrassed. "THAT TANK IS ALAN ELBOURNE, HE BEATED ME UP FOR NO REASON!" D yelled. Dracula gasped and hugged D tighter. He then turned to the principal, his eyes filled with fury.

"WHAT DID YOUR SON DO TO MY POOR BABY? HE'S DELICATE, Y'KNOW!" Dracula yelled while Carmilla started to snicker. "What are you laughing at?" He hissed while Carmilla's eyes narrowed. "I'm laughing at your pathetic son." She responded while Dracula hugged D even more tightly causing D to gasp for breathe. "I suggest your revise that statement, _Carmilla_." He said menacely while Carmilla sneered. "Like I would."

"If you know what's good for you, YOU WILL."

"Hmmm, I think I WON'T."

"YOU WILL."

"I WON'T"

"YOU WILL!"

"I WON'T!"

"YES. YOU. WILL."

"NO. I. WON'T."

Dracula snarled and pushed D away from him and stomped right up to Carmilla. "YOU ARE A STUPID, SNOBBY, PALE BITCH!" He yelled.

"TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!" Carmilla yelled back, this comment made Dracula fluster. "YOU… YOU… YOU!"

Carmilla and Dracula started another cursing out match, while the intrigued Kyle and Principal Elbourne watched on. Nolt looked on also but in horror while he struggled to regain his common composure.

"Princi-,"

"Not now, Mr. Nolt."

"But si-,"

"Didn't I just tell you not to bother me?"

"But this is import-,"

"Do you know how funny it is to see two of the most powerful vampires ever yelling at each other like adolescence girly girls?"

"Si-,"

"Mr. Nolt, if you do not be quiet I will have to discuss the amount of money that I will be cutting from your pay!" Principal Elbourne snarled. Nolt sulked against the wall and glared at the two vampires, who were now sissy hitting each other.


	6. Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Long wait. This chapter isn't that funny. Sorry.

* * *

Tiny and unique crystal flakes floated down and touched the hunter's dorm window. D watched the snowfall as if he under a spell. He snuggled deeper into the cozy sheets as he gave many thanks to whoever made it snow. At least then three hours after D left the principal's office with Kyle (without getting in trouble with Mr. Nolt), a huge snowstorm came. The whole school was a giant icicle which means no classes and definitely no Ms. Carmilla until the snow clears away. D sighed in content as he puffed up his pillow. He hadn't gotten out of bed since he woke up and it's now 3 in the afternoon.

"D, c'mon, get up! Don't you want to go play in the snow like the rest of the kids?" Left Hand begged. Earlier, Kyle asked D if he wanted to go have a snowball fight with Benge and Mashira. Despite the pleadings of the Left Hand, D said no and stayed in his bed like a lazy bum all day long. "No, snow is cold and bed is warm," D yawned and closed his eyes. The Left Hand sighed, irritated. If only he was part of Kyle's body rather then D's. He could hear the laughter of the others and loud curses when they got hit with a slush ball. "Deeeeeeee," Left Hand whined. "C'mon! You lay in bed all night anyway. Just have some fu-," Left Hand was interrupted when the door slammed open. "There you are, sleeping in bed." D's ears twitched as he tried to recognize the voice. He heard footsteps and then a horrible feeling of something cold pressed up against his face.

"ARGGGUUUHHH, WHA-," D sat straight up in bed, sputtered, and wiped the ice water off his face. "Who do you think you are to be doing that to me?"

"It's me, silly!" Leila grinned widely with another snowball in her hand. She was wearing a brown leather winter coat, with a pink beanie hat that looked very similar to D's. "You've been in bed all day! The snow is great! Who knows when there will be another day like this?"

"I want to enjoy this one!"

"Then come out and play!"

"NO! I DON'T WANNA GO OUT IN THE COLD SNOW."

"Why? Oh, so enjoying a day off is staying in bed and doing nothing."

"Yep, that seems about right." D responded, fell back down on the bed, and pull the sheets over his head. _Oh, what did I do to deserve this?_ Left Hand thought to himself. _Why did I have to be attached to such a lazy kid? Why couldn't I've been attached to Kyle and be having a lot of fun, right now?_ Left Hand was getting more and more gloomy.

"Well, you don't have a choice," Leila drew herself to her full height and held the snowball out in front of her. "If you don't get up D, then you will be so wet and cold that people will think you were trapped in a meat locker for a WEEK!" "FINE! Fine, fine, fine," D grumbled and sat up in bed. Leila smiled and walked out of his room to wait for him.

"HEADS UP!" Kyle yelled as he smacked Mashira with a snowball. Benge threw a snowball at Kyle while Mashira struggled to get out off the ground. "Hey guys! I finally got him out of bed!" Leila smiled as she pushed D outside. The cold wind stung D's face and he whimpered. "I want to go back inside," He moaned and Leila rolled her eyes. "Well, you're not so you can stop whining about it." Kyle said while he patted D on his back. D was wearing a long black winter coat with his normal hat on. "Hey, you found the sombrero!" Mashira exclaimed as he shook the snow off himself. "It is not a sombrero! It's my hat!" D snarled and Mashira shrugged. Leila walked over to where Mashira was standing and bent down to pick up a handful of snow. "Don't let him get to you," Leila whispered. "He's just cranky."

D was standing there, fuming, when a small snowflake hovered down in front of his face. That one was followed by five more then ten more then twenty more until… "IT'S SNOWING AGAIN! YEAH!" Kyle yelled happily as he ran back inside. "I wonder where he is going," Benge asked. "Who cares? Can I go back inside now?" D hissed but Leila shook her head. "Nu-uh! You're staying out here with us!" "I think Leila wants to ask you something…," Benge suddenly said with a sly look at Leila. Leila's face turned red and she smacked Benge with a snowball. "What? Ask me want?" D asked curiously. Leila turned quickly around. "Um! Nothing! Nothing at all!" She let out a nervous laugh and D raised an eyebrow. "Are you hiding something from me?" D scowled.

Before Leila could respond, Kyle came running back outside with a toboggan under his arm. "Hey! Borgoff sent this to me a few months ago. I was thinking about selling it but now I can use it! C'mon guys!" Kyle set the large sled down at the top of a steep hill. "Awesome! I'm on it!" Mashira said and sat down on the sled. "Ummm, looks kinda dangerous," D noted but Leila laughed. "C'mon, D! Aren't you the great vampire hunter? I'm sure a little toboggan isn't going to frighten you?" "Yeeaah, D," Benge interrupted. "Didn't you fight against the Serpenta Triplets last year?" "Fine! FINE! I'll ride on the stupid sled." D walked over to it and around it to inspect the snow ride. "I guess that leaves us out," Leila said and grabbed Benge roughly by his collar. "He- what? I want to go on it!" Benge struggled to free himself as Leila dragged him off. "Why can't Benge ride with us?" D asked. "This can only seat 3 people, D, and Benge would tell you what Leila wants to ask you about." Mashira answered. "What does Leila want to ask me?"

"I'm not telling."

"What? Why not?"

"Because she told me not to tell you."

"That's a dumb reason."

"I'm not called the loyalist one out of the whole class for no reason," Mashira reminded D and that ended the conversation. They both lowered themselves onto the sleek sled with Kyle smiling at them. As soon as they got themselves seated, Kyle at the front, D in the middle, and Mashira in the rear, Mashira pushed the sled forward. It inched through the snow slowly before it rode down the hill at top speed. Kyle screamed in delight, D screamed in fear, and Mashira didn't scream at all. Unfortunately, this toboggan had no means of steering and in a few moments they slammed into a tree. D and Kyle went flying up into the air. D cried out in pain as he landed on his stomach and Kyle landed on his back. They both laid there. "Errrugh, this is the last time I ever ride on a stupid thing like that again." D stated and struggled to get up. "Shh!" Kyle ordered suddenly. "I think I hear someone."

Not too far away, Charlotte stuck her tongue out to catch the following snowflakes. When one was brush up against her cheek she would giggle. She danced and skipped around in the soft snow, only pausing to pick up some snow and throw it up into the air. She was so absorbed in the snow that she never heard someone creeping up behind her. She cried out in fright as she felt a pair of arms encircle her. "Guess who?" A deep voice said softly into her ear. "Meier Link! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Charlotte said but with a happy tone to her voice. "I didn't know when you were coming out here!" She jumped up with glee and hugged him. "I had to finish my project for Physics," He said into her hair and she laughed. "I'm happy that you're out here then we could play around in the snow! Father would never let me out here alone any other time." "Does he suspect anything?" Meier said in a concerned voice while Charlotte shook her head. "Maybe I shouldn't stay up so late talking to you on the phone. My father and Alan are getting suspicious." She murmured but Meier smiled. "I like talking to you but I guess we have to cut down on the time." Charlotte smiled and blushed. Meier blushed too and coughed. They stood in the snow for a few moments before he looked downed at her. "Um, Charlotte… would you… would you like to go to the Christmas Ball with me…," It took all of Meier's courage to ask that question. Charlotte's eyes lit up and she grinned in excitement up at the vampire. "Me? You want to take me? Oh, Meier!" She grabbed Meier's face and pulled him down. She pressed her lips against his. Time froze. Meier gently pulled away and kissed Charlotte on her cheek. He trailed his lips down her chin and her neck, he hesitated. She sighed lovingly and kissed his forehead. Meier brought his lips back to hers. Kneeling down a few feet away from the lovers, frozen in shock, was D and Kyle.


End file.
